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Faith

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1 Faith on Sun Jun 20, 2010 8:09 pm

I have wondered from time to time, what it all means. We are brought down our paths for what reason? I have looked for a reason, in places that are real, and places that are not. In the mind and in the heart I have climbed mountains of emotions and fears. I would find myself at the top, proud of my revelations, and on top of the world. And how quickly would the icy winds blow me down back to the depths of my self. I wondered long and hard- why? I want to know. But I never knew, why I wanted to know. I would go crazy trying to find an answer. But only did I realize how many questions I asked were merely steps I was taking to walk away from it all. I wanted some level of control over all my fears, to try and take them by the hand and crush them so they didn't exist. I thought this is how things worked. I learned a lot, yes, but I didn't learn what I went to those places for. I wanted peace and serenity in all of it. I was looking for an eternal place of rest so I could smile at it all instead of running and crying, throwing a tantrum like a child. It all amounted to me being left alone with my only true knowing of how to deal with these things, which was ultimately, not knowing a thing. So I was left stuck with my fears and no way out. This is the only way I learned faith in the unknown. When there are no ways to go. The only place to be is here and now. There were no more mountainous theories and levels of consciousness to climb, no more exerting the stone cold hands of control over things, no more looking. It was all there. God had taken the spear of serenity and stuck it right into me- revealing everything that I was amounting to at the time, which was my fears.

So I looked at myself in disgust for what I had done and took all responsibility for my suffering. I took it all in like a sponge and then the forces that be rung me out like an old rag. The excess that was left was not me. But what I had accumulated over the years.. What had 'made me'. We have this idea that our upbringing determines our person, that our past controls who we are right now. Well let me tell you this; forget it. You don't understand who you are until you've given up trying. You may be wise and well into your years enough to say, yeah I have this and that and have done so and so, but those are things. Those are things that have made you. Where is your substance? Where is the mental fibre that has been woven around everything you have ever done? Can you answer that? Until you can, take it with a grain of salt. Everything you do and have done does not make you. But what you are right now is where it's at.

Give up. Just let it all go right now, I mean it, your cries will not go unheard. Stop trying to be who you want to be and let your heart take over. What rests deep inside your heart always wins over your head.. If you listen to it. It doesn't change a thing if you believe in God or not, but if you truly and faitfully throw in the towel and stop fighting, you'll see yourself for what you really are. And something else will take the wheel and drive you right home where you need to be. Something else- God? Well, I don't know. But it sure as hell feels like it.

This experience has taught me faith. We have no control over anything. Control rests within the base of a mountain, and we are merely the tip that has grown. The ocean is controlled by the current. The wind is controlled by movement. Your existence rests solely in the hands of something you cannot even explain. So give it all up, truthfully ask for your life back, and you will have it. Faith is a powerful thing, for it crushes through all barriers of knowledge and intellectual desire. Faith in the unknown- faith in that, you'll never know (nor do you care) if there is a powerful force on this earth, but you will believe so anyway. You work against the strongest odds of humanity in this task. And if you think it is all for nothing, then you are all for nothing. We want things. But when we have nothing, we do not cease to exist. When you have nothing to hold on to for dear life, and your brain is on its last leg, just surrender. Do it even if you do not feel this way. Control over life is doing it backwards; let life take you where you need to go.

Ask and you shall receive- no matter who you are. But your own success revolves around your determination to be walking in the darkness of the unknown. Not being afraid of what you will find. Having faith it will all work out all right in the end, through the bumps of life. You will have your ups and downs- I am surely not saying faith is a cure all. But it's the driving force that has brought humanity to it's knees, and to it's happiness. From faith comes belief, and from belief comes every theory and religion known to man. But what is important, if it is your truth and if it comes from your heart. It must live within you; not in a book or the words of someone else's faith. For if it lives within you then you live IT.

I do not know why I get the things I pray for. I don't know why things happen the way they do. But I only know one thing; be very careful what you wish for. It is far away from what you will ever expect. Ask with clarity and truth.. Not materialism. You will never know what to expect until you get it, and the universe does not make a promise it cannot keep. Be wise in your decisions, and listen to your heart, for it is never wrong.

Doubt is the murder of truth. But truth is the salvation for any human emotion.

This is my experience, out for the world to read. I asked for it. Understanding the things I do now, I would ask for it all over again. Your life can be everything you desire and more if you just let it go.. We're only human. We can't be expected to do everything. Is this the spiritual journey? Possibly. Is it my sole path? Yes. With this, I hope I can share to the world the beauty of having faith and being truly free. I don't expect everyone to care, nor do I want everyone to do this. But faith, man, everyone can share it. It's different than believing. It's experiencing.

But remember, you have to ask for it. And the only time to do this is now.

I sincerely asked for truth at the beginning of my spiritual journey, and this is where I am now. Coincidence? Absolutely not.. But I will assure you that it is very far from what I expected.


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