I don’t really know anything. And I’ve been trying to prove that to myself for some reason. It sounds easier than saying I do know everything. But I truly don’t, because I can’t prove it. Okay I just deleted the same sentence 4 times so maybe I need to clear my thoughts a bit more.
I’m not sure the point I am trying to make. I am me, but what is me? Me is the identity I give to that essence inside of me.. That undeniable thing that will never be explained, nor does it need to be.. Although I quite want to, I know I can’t. This essence is everything that has ever been and ever will be. I see it as the point in the universe, MY point on the map of everything, MY awareness, and everything in this world connects to that, and that is how I learn. Those points of spiritual realizations are the connections the mind makes to the essence I think. That has happened to me lately and I can barely find the words- and I am an artist, I love writing! Though I can manage, it’s just so ironic and amazing at the same time. Through this life I experience separation and everything merely revolves around that point of essence in me, and I think that is what I am trying to understand, the separation part.
Is it just the mind that sees the separation as an illusion? I said something that I didn’t expect to question so much today- “Through our eyes, everything is in front of us which creates the illusion that we are not connected to it.” And that rings so true to me. Because it is true, in this world, we have our own physical domain of being. What is OURS- ownership of our own body, and we’ve even claimed the space around us as well. I’m not arguing with the subject of personal space or anything, but is it truly ours? Or do we need to state I AM ME, or THIS IS MINE to have some kind of reassurance that we have control? I am NOT trying to start a thread about the topic of control, that was just an observation on my part.. When we think about it.. Honestly, what do we have control over? Our own thoughts and desires, which wouldn’t be possible without the opportunities to DO those, so what kind of control do we have? I feel it is merely an illusion in the confined space of our own mind. So I let go of this kind of control, this idea of control, I’m finally at peace knowing that I don’t need control.
Anyway in all that rambling I think I found the thought I was looking for.. There’s an unexplainable, unknowable, unidentifiable THING in us all that is what we are, there is no going around it, it is there in me, I just for some reason see it as separate, and I don’t want to because I know I am this essence I speak of. This physicality spirals around it, in our perception. I just want to SCREAM, I AM LOVE, I AM MORE THAN HUMAN, I AM EVERYTHING THERE IS TO BE!!! I want to climb the tallest mountain! This feeling is so amazing, it’s not even realistic, it’s like I’m living in a dream 24-7! Life truly is wonderful and I have no other words to explain it. But I'm gonna keep trying.
I’m not sure the point I am trying to make. I am me, but what is me? Me is the identity I give to that essence inside of me.. That undeniable thing that will never be explained, nor does it need to be.. Although I quite want to, I know I can’t. This essence is everything that has ever been and ever will be. I see it as the point in the universe, MY point on the map of everything, MY awareness, and everything in this world connects to that, and that is how I learn. Those points of spiritual realizations are the connections the mind makes to the essence I think. That has happened to me lately and I can barely find the words- and I am an artist, I love writing! Though I can manage, it’s just so ironic and amazing at the same time. Through this life I experience separation and everything merely revolves around that point of essence in me, and I think that is what I am trying to understand, the separation part.
Is it just the mind that sees the separation as an illusion? I said something that I didn’t expect to question so much today- “Through our eyes, everything is in front of us which creates the illusion that we are not connected to it.” And that rings so true to me. Because it is true, in this world, we have our own physical domain of being. What is OURS- ownership of our own body, and we’ve even claimed the space around us as well. I’m not arguing with the subject of personal space or anything, but is it truly ours? Or do we need to state I AM ME, or THIS IS MINE to have some kind of reassurance that we have control? I am NOT trying to start a thread about the topic of control, that was just an observation on my part.. When we think about it.. Honestly, what do we have control over? Our own thoughts and desires, which wouldn’t be possible without the opportunities to DO those, so what kind of control do we have? I feel it is merely an illusion in the confined space of our own mind. So I let go of this kind of control, this idea of control, I’m finally at peace knowing that I don’t need control.
Anyway in all that rambling I think I found the thought I was looking for.. There’s an unexplainable, unknowable, unidentifiable THING in us all that is what we are, there is no going around it, it is there in me, I just for some reason see it as separate, and I don’t want to because I know I am this essence I speak of. This physicality spirals around it, in our perception. I just want to SCREAM, I AM LOVE, I AM MORE THAN HUMAN, I AM EVERYTHING THERE IS TO BE!!! I want to climb the tallest mountain! This feeling is so amazing, it’s not even realistic, it’s like I’m living in a dream 24-7! Life truly is wonderful and I have no other words to explain it. But I'm gonna keep trying.
